Matthew 22: 1-14 Sermon preached on October 9, 2011 with a reminder that the printed version is not exactly the same as preached in worship.
Now don't get me wrong, it is not that I don't like weddings. Nevertheless I am not a fan of many wedding ceremonies, although I love and still remember my own wedding day. Nevertheless with all due respect to gay men and women who still don't have the right to marry, I believe wedding ceremonies for many have moved into the "twilight zone;" an area of deep ambiguity between two states --- one married --- the other single.
Maybe it could be that weddings are not just private, family affairs that take up Saturday afternoons or part of Sunday morning worship. It could be because in my travels and life outside of the United States, I have met countless couples whose families chose their children's partners. I have gained a deeper appreciation and respect for arranged marriages where people begin their journey together at the ceremony.
My feelings could be from the many couples who have asked me to preside at their wedding ceremony. Typically, I have five or six meetings before the event. During our talks I have come to realize that preparing for the wedding ceremony is not necessarily a clue for what makes a healthy relationship. Some couples are bickering up to the wedding; couples that I am deeply suspicious will remain married, yet are married years later. And on the other hand, some couples who I work with before their wedding seem to have all the marks of a healthy couple with good patterns of communication who I find out later never made it to the first anniversary.
Or my dismal feelings about wedding ceremonies could be because of the onslaught of cable, and the 21st century version of a perfect wedding day. Just take one trip around your 100 or so basic cable channels and you're guaranteed to stumble upon any of a number of wedding-related reality shows.
You've got Say Yes to the Dress which features brides-to-be trying on expensive gowns and Cake Boss on The Learning Channel that lets you admire the antics of an eccentric family as they crank out extravagant wedding cakes. You can peek in on the nuptials of the super-wealthy on WE's Platinum Weddings and then flip over to CMT for something slightly less formal with My Big Redneck Wedding. Oh, and there's even something for the kids. Engaged and Underage on MTV follows teens who take the plunge before they can legally vote.
Possibly it is for those reasons and the expense of weddings that I have become rather cynical about the whole wedding industry. Nevertheless I know wonderful weddings exist, not only for my own wedding experience but in the stories of others. I remember one couple who shared their wedding day. They got married during the depression in the 1930's. She wore her best dress that she wore to work and church and he bought a new tie to wear with his one suit. They met together at the church, no rehearsal or bachelor or bachelorette parties in Las Vegas. No rules like not seeing the bride before the event. The number of guests filled two pews. And after the ceremony the new couple joined their guests for a wedding cake baked by the mother of the bride served at the home of the groom. No dance or band. It was the beginning of partnership that was only separated by death 60+ years later.
I notice however that I am in a minority. For example, we read today that it seems that Jesus was apparently fond of weddings ceremonies. Not only did he help cater one in Cana by providing some last minute wine, but Jesus employed wedding imagery throughout his teaching and preaching career to illustrate important truths about life in God's kingdom. In fact, in today's gospel, Jesus gives us a wedding-themed parable in which the people involved have an even more extreme attitude toward weddings … perhaps we could even say they are … wedding allergic.
Jesus tells us that a wealthy king has invited those special to him to a lavish feast to celebrate the marriage of his son. Only, rather than jump at the chance to attend a royal wedding, everyone on the guest list RSVP'd with a big, fat "no." The king reiterated its extravagance: "Tell those who are invited, See, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding feast." In other words, "The party is going to be nuts! You don't want to miss it." But what is everyone's attitude? Nothing. The king sends more servants only to have them flatly ignored or mocked and killed.
Enraged at such apathy and violence, the disrespected king revokes their invites with an attack on their city and sends out a call for the rest of the world to attend his son's awesome celebration instead. With the wedding hall now full, the groom and father finally receive the respect they deserve.
One interpretation of the parable is based on the fact that "a wedding feast" was a popular way of describing the coming consummation of God's kingdom; that day in the future when the long-awaited Messiah – often described as the "bridegroom" -- would receive the honor rightfully due and enjoy an extravagant feast of blessing and joy.
Yet, rather than be filled with honor and excitement for that day, rather than "save the date" and mark their calendars, the first guests in the parable, simply couldn't care less. This interpretation suggests that the bridegroom had appeared in the person of Jesus and rather than embrace him in anticipation of the party, would eventually throw him on a cross. As a result, the feast, the kingdom, the new age of heaven on Earth, and the blessing from the bridegroom would be opened to everyone. That's where we come in.
We, beginning with the first disciples in this one interpretation are the "other ones," the "found ones," Jesus talks about to whom the invitation to the wedding now belongs. The invitation to this wedding has come to you and me in the form of the gospel preached to us by other invitees and applied to us in baptism. Our sins are forgiven. Our status is secure. Our RSVP for the resurrection is in the mail. We will be a guest of the groom at the great feast, on the last day.
And God's goal for us, as special guests, is to learn from those who were invited to the wedding but rejected the offer. In other words, we are to learn from those jaded wedding cynics like me. God would love for some excitement and interest some seem to have for crazy cakes and pricey dresses today to be focused on what is in store for us. We are to make the most of this special invitation.
So, what are we supposed to make of this one interpretation that I highlighted? When it comes down to it, there are two aspects of making the most of God's kingdom invitation that I like. First -- and this may sound painfully simple -- we are to enjoy the fact that we've been chosen. The promises of God are true and the gifts are to be enjoyed now -- like forgiveness of every sin and the power of the Holy Spirit. These gifts are just a glimpse, a snippet of what we will enjoy when the real party arrives. We are to be the happiest people on the planet.
However, there may be some people like me who wonder, if they receive an invitation to a wedding, what the couple is looking for in presents. But the wedding invitation we have received is just the opposite. The host is not looking for gifts. Rather it is like the wedding of Vanisha Mittal and Amit Bhatia is said to have cost some $60 million. The invitations arrived in silver boxes containing round-trip airfare and accommodations at a five-star Paris hotel. When invited to something so lavish, whatever we can give is irrelevant. All that matters is to be honored and joyful that we get to take part. The same should be true as we consider this invitation from God. We should feel excited to be involved.
Also we are to make the most out of our invite to the wedding of all weddings by letting God be the bouncer at the door. We tend to spend too much time worrying about who's in and who's out. Like me, we could be wrong what couple will make it and what couple will not or be overly concerned about who makes the guest list. We have bickered over who worships the right way, who dresses appropriately, whose theology is tightest and whose life is cleanest. The end result is that such discussions end up either robbing us of the simple joy of being invited --- weighing us down with largely unimportant concerns --- or stopping us in our tracks from asking anyone else to join us.
Who's invited and who's not is a God thing. You'll recall at the end of the parable the king enters the party and boots one attendee for not having the proper attire. Some commentators believe it to be an allusion to the righteousness afforded by faith and gifted by God that allows us to enter and enjoy God's kingdom. But the larger point for me is that only the king himself did the bouncing. The king determined who was in and out even after everyone else let the guest into the party. Our task instead is to enjoy and invite. Others have put it like this: Found people find people. Invited people invite people. God sorts out the rest.
Perhaps there are some of you like me who are jaded by the wedding industry in the United States. Or perhaps you love weddings. Either way in this parable, we are reminded that we have been invited. We have submitted RSVP's to the wedding hosted by God. Let us tell others of their special invitation and let God throw the party, after all, it's going to be incredible. Amen.
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